Chicken Egg Karma
I just had a bizarre EggWave experience. I was making my morning English muffin with egg and cheese
the champion breakfast of cubical kings. I was cooking my egg in the little egg wave unit
the double chamber one that looks vaguely like a set of testicles. When the egg had finished I slid it out onto the muffin
and then put the other side of the muffin on top. I guess there was still some hot gasses or something in the egg
because the top of the muffin suddenly blew off with an auditable pop. It did not fly across the room or anything
it just popped off the top. The off thing is that the egg itself did not take any damage. I could not even see a hole where the gasses escaped. I gingerly put the top back on and this time it stayed in place. I bet I could have this for breakfast for the next 100 years and that would never happen again.
I was thinking about eggs the other day. I was at the grocery store shopping when I stopped to pick up some. For the first time I stopped and gave the egg section a good hard look. Just how do you choose eggs? I know you open the carton and make sure none are broken
but other than that I was at a loss. There were eggs from several different farms as well. Which farm had better chickens?
I then spied out the ‘free range’ eggs. The packaging claimed that the chickens who lay THOSE eggs are not trapped in a tiny cage their entire lives. They get to go out and scratch around and peck at things
all the stuff that a chicken loves doing. For some reason I feel like there is some sort of Karma in buying free range eggs. If cage chickens are really miserable (Which
to be honest
I think is debatable because chickens are one of the dumbest creatures on earth) then perhaps they pass on some sort of caged-up-fat-creature misery into their eggs. Meanwhile the other eggs contain happy-sunshine-scratching karma.
I ended up buying the free range eggs. They were a dollar more
but when it’s only two dollars it’s not that big of a deal. I am not really a big animal rights activist
I will go to KFC and gorge myself if I feel the need
and life does not get much better than a giant porterhouse steak. But somehow I think there just might be something better about eggs that come from chickens who had a busy day scratching at the dirt. I am sure Mike The Headless Chicken would agree.
I need to wash my car. Bad. Some tree either at home or at work has been dumping tons of pollen on it. It’s normally a bluish-black but it has so much pollen on it that it is almost green. I can’t take it to a drive-through car wash because there is a little crack in the drivers door where water leaks in. When I go through a carwash a little steam of water drips in
and frankly it feels like I am getting peed on. No matter how much I squirm or twist in the driver’s seat
I cannot avoid that pee-stream. So I have to sit there and take it. Take it like a little bitch.
I need to drive around the college areas and see if any sororities are having a car wash. Nothing beats having a hoard of buxom young girls scrubbing your car down for you. And since it’s for ‘donations’ and can just flip them a quarter
give a nasty laugh
and drive away and there is nothing illegal about it. I suppose that is pretty mean
though. I would have to eat a lot of free-range chicken eggs to counter that karma.
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