Eds hot date
This morning I held the door open for a pregnant girl carrying some bags. As a result of me being polite, I spilled some of the Einstein coffee I was carrying on the front of my shirt. Sigh. That's some sort of anti-karma. I tried to wash it out, but instead I simply ended up with a big wet stain on the front of my shirt. When that finally dried up, the coffee stain was still there. Just call me stain-boy.
So, I had a hot date lined up last night so I had to get clean. I had an hour to blow so I decided to take a nice relaxing bath instead of a shower. Nothing like a nice bath to relax and loosen up. (That and a shot of Jim Beam ). Incidentally, a quick blurb about personal hygiene products. I normally use a body wash by old spice called 'Red Zone'. I like the way it lathers and the way it smells. Well, about a month ago I ran out of shampoo. Having nothing else to use, I squirted some of the red zone into my hair. It turned out to be the best shampoo I have ever used. It smells light, not overpowering, it cleans my hair well, and it makes it nice and soft, and it combs well after it's dried. Plus I do not have to buy separate soap and shampoo; it's all in the same bottle. How cool is that.
So, I dried off, fed the cats, hopped in my car and sped off to Colorado Fondue House. I have not been there since my twenty first birthday and I was looking forward to an evening of savory delights.
I have met people from off the computer many times. It's always fun, that little thrill you get at meeting someone for the first time, that sudden feeling of inadequacy you have about yourself. The girl did not scream, run, or gorge her eyeballs out with a fork at the sight of me, so I took that as a good sign. Introductions were made and we went on in.
They placed us at a rather odd table. Instead of being back farther in the restaurant, it was just about the first table you see when you walk in, right next to the bar. I had the weird feeling that they placed us there so they could keep an eye on us. Like we were a couple of troublemakers. Well, I can be, do not know about her.
So we ate our cheese and the food with our little sticks. It was all good. She liked to talk, that's fine by me, I like to listen more than I like to talk. Plus it gave me the opportunity to steal more tidbits of food and stuff them in my mouth while she was busy talking. I'm a sneak.
I put my 'bitch-o-meter' on high alert. I have to say she passed with flying colors. (Uh, that she was not a bitch, not that she was.) There are some obvious telltale signs you can look for. For instance, how they treat the serving staff. Anyone who growls, snaps, loudly complains, or generally treats a server like crap will usually end up treating YOU like that. No loud complaining about her family. Everyone has their 'moments' with their family. That's life, and usually private. But if someone starts out a conversation with 'My mom is such a bitch' or 'I hate my dad, he's an asshole' that generally makes a big red light go flashing on the bitch-o-meter. If someone cannot get along with their own family, how are they going to get along with you?
Gripes and complaints about ex's are ok. That is just plain amusing. I have to admit, I felt quite rude when I burst out laughing when she told me what her ex boyfriend does for a living. Nothing can quite put you on a pedestal like knowing the guy a girl dated before you was a security guard at a dump.
Come on. You would have laughed too.
But, she took it all in good stride, so she gets another gold star for that.
Before I left for the evening I asked for some hot date advice from some of my female readers. One of them was 'Look at her eyes, not her boobs.' I had to admit that was becoming increasingly difficult as the night wore on considering that she was a buxom girl with a blouse erupting with goodies. It did not help that when a piece of salad she was eating fell off the fork and gracefully lodged itself in the great valley of mount mammary. She daintily picked it out much to my gleeful amusement.
The meal concluded with a big pot of melted chocolate with numerous sweet things to dip into it. Good lord I am still reeling form the taste eruption that came from that. After our meal we decided to go someplace else for us to chat a little while longer. First I tried some bar that I had not been to in ages, nothing special about it except it was right across the street. We walked in and then walked right back out. There were no booths to sit in, just high stools (I hate stools) and the air was loud with the noise of football, the jukebox and drunken patrons. Not a nice place for a quiet conversation.
Next we tried going to a star bucks down the road. However it was 10 PM and they were locking up their doors. What kind of starbucks closes at 10 pm? Where are dreary poets and angry bohemians and anxiety-ridden philosophers supposed to hang out? (Well, maybe not philosophers... they can't afford starbucks.) So we decided to head over to the little boardwalk around the pond behind Altamont mall.
They had really revamped that place since I had been there last. There was a lot more stone and marble to be seen. It would have had almost a roman-like feel for it if it were not for the fact that hidden speakers were pumping out Herbie Hancock's 'Rockit'. One of the stone benches held a little bronze statue of a boy holding a puppy. There was something creepy about the boy that I could not quiet pinpoint. However, my date did. "He's got no eyes!" she said, and demonstrated this fact by jamming her finger into the statues empty eye socket. That gave me a little shudder.
We sat on one of the stone benches and chatted for a while. I was annoyed because I wanted to bust some of my smooth moves, but I was distracted by other people wandering around the park. In particular one overly buff and shirtless dude who was wandering around with his date. Its not just that he was shirtless and buff, the way he was carrying himself was almost like he was puffing up for some hidden cameras. A preening peacock, if you will.
Anyways, the rest of my night is my business and not yours, but it was a fun night. It's always a good thing when a date does not go bad.
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