Spyware and highway gods.
I gave my computer a virus last night. Or spy ware, or some other crap. What pisses me off is I managed to do it deliberately. I was trying to find a crack for some software I was toying with. So I downloaded some random crack and tried it. Naturally it was a package of a slew of spyware and adware. The worst part is that I know better than that. I have often yelled at people in the past for doing it. I felt like grabbing a blow horn and calling out to the neighborhood, inviting them to line up and take turns kicking me in the ass for my stupidity.
It was late at night when I did it, so I just turned off my computer in disgust and went to bed. Now I have to spend god knows how much time fixing it. I hate fixing computers after work. I won't even log on to my yahoo mail. I probably have a key logger or something on it now.
I was almost late for work this morning. For no reason at all I woke up at 5:30 in the morning. Wandered into my office, smoked a cig, fired up my computer, remembered I had that stupid spyware on it and could not check my mail, and promptly went back to bed. When I awoke again (I do not use an alarm clock) I had exactly ten minutes to shower and get my shit together and get to work. I actually managed to shower fast (You always shower faster in outdoor showers... don't ask me why.) brushed, no shave, dressed and was out the door. I threw on the jeans I wore yesterday. I did not feel like groping through the closet to figure out which pair of pants I owned still fit. It's not like I did any sweating in these pants yesterday, so I figure they are clean enough to get through another day. I had no time to get my lunch, however, so I am eating out today.
I took a chance and took I-4. I-4 is always a gamble. It can either get you to work really quickly, or you can become stuck in some god-awful traffic and become late as hell. Those amber traffic signs before you get on I-4 rarely mean anything. I think they are just there to pacify the public. Or spy on us.
I am convinced there is actually some evil ruler of I-4. He is a demigod and is made out of chunks of asphalt and broken bottles and beer cans and looks a bit like the 'Trash Heap' from Fraggle rock. He resides deep in a subterranean cavern directly underneath I-4. Sometimes his days go like this:
Evil Ruler: Lackey!
Lackey: Yes, your evilness?
Evil Ruler: I grow bored! I demand amusement!
Lackey: Yes oh bulbous one. The usual?
Evil Ruler: At once!
(Lackey grabs a chain hanging from the ceiling and pulls. After a moment the sounds of cars screeching and glass shattering is heard. Then the cavern is filled with the steady drove of traffic at a standstill.)
Evil Ruler: (clapping hands) Yesss! Yesss! Excellent! Muahaha!
Lackey: You are most wondrously devious my putrid lord.
However, the God of I-4 must have been sleeping today because the traffic was light and I actually zipped straight to work and was not late at all.
Everyone enjoy their 6-6-06. Have a meal of deviled ham and devils food cakes, and those 'red hot' candies that have the leering devil on the front of the box. God I hate those.
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