Chick flicks and the force
Yesterday's fake Friday had left me feeling drained, so when I got home all I did was flop on to the couch and shut down. I was idly flipping through channels when the remote slipped out of my hand. The station I had stopped on was playing the movie 'Rumor has it...' Because the remote was now out of reach I just let it play.
Forty-five minutes later I was groaning in pain at the estrogen beams this movie was shooting at me. It was 98.999% pure chick flick. The men are all bumbling idiots. The women are all emotional wrecks. As soon as I heard the phrase "I did not mean to sleep with him!" I actively began groping for the remote. Alas! It was just out of reach. Finally I knew I had to take drastic measures to change this channel before an ending so sappy appeared that I would become encased in it forever, like a fly in amber.
No, I did not actually get up from the couch. Instead I used the force. Straining with my mighty brainpowers I actually caused the remote to slide across the floor and into my waiting fingertips. Then with a cry of triumph, I stabbed the channel up button. I was free!
Alas, the universe was cruel, for the next station was playing 'Big mommas house 2'. I almost cried.
Actually, I hate Martin Lawrence. I despise the man. If I met him in an elevator somewhere I would pimp slap him. He is one of those people who you wonder both why and how they keep making movies. He's the black 'Earnest'. And it seems like every time I go to the movies there is a preview playing for yet another one of his movies. I once read an article about how he felt he did not get good enough service on an airplane, so he climbed up on a server cart and took a shit on it. That action is completely in line of how I perceive this man.
I had a dream last night that I was driving an old VW bug across country, and I parked on the side of the road to get out and look at a house I had seen in my dreams. (That happens a lot in my dreams; I see something and I think 'I dreamed that somewhere' and the irony that I am dreaming never occurs to me.) While I was out some backwoods redneck cop impounded my car. I wandered the town looking for a way to make some money, however the town was only populated by 'children of the corn' type kids. Except instead of worshipping corn gods they were moping around like goth kids. This tale has no point. The dream had no point. I have no point.
Here's one tough cat.
Back To Archives