Kelbaski and scary old ladies
Yesterday when I was sitting at work I started thinking about kelbaski, and how I have not had some in a while. The only place in Orlando (that I know of) to get some good kelbaski is a little polish deli located on Aloma Avenue. However, I did not feel like driving across town for some kelbaski.
My coin-bowl was starting to over flow so I decided it was time for a trip to the coin star. The closest one is located in the Worlds Nastiest Winn-Dixie, which is located down the road from me. This is the only grocery store I have been to that has a full time security guard stationed at the front door. I never shop there, the only reason I go there is to use the coin star. I dumped my coins into the machine and waited to see what ones would be rejected. I got back:
A crusty penny
A Canadian quarter
A 1964 dime (apparently all dimes before 1964 are all silver, and thus rejected by the coin star)
A quarter from 1984 that had been painted all black.
All in all I got a sweet twenty-five bucks out of the coin jar. I went and picked up a six-pack of amber bock, and decided to see what kind of kelbaski they had over in the lunchmeat section. I was standing there peering at the packages of meat products when suddenly two old southern black ladies came up to me.
One of them was wearing a Sunday hat. The other one looked even older and was in an electric scooter chair. The one with the hat walked up to me and said "Big Legs!"
I blinked and said, "Excuse me?"
She said, "You got some big legs! We gon' cut you up 'n serve you in the meat department!"
And with that the old woman in the scooter opened her toothless maw and started cackling at me.
Once they were done with their laugh they wandered away, leaving me momentarily befuddled.
The kelbaski I ended up getting was nothing short of disgusting. I have never seen a kelbaski that oozed out some sort of yellow bile when you boiled it up. I ate part of it, because I was hungry, and it haunted me all night.
I just hope it was not made out of big legged white boys.
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